Today is a red-letter day here in Indonesia. No, actually
tomorrow is the red-letter day, but school is closed for a full week and a
half. The Balinese Hindu holidays of Galungan and Kuningan happen twice a year.
Galungan always falls on a Wednesday with Kuningan coming ten days later.
The school year started in mid-July, but didn’t really get
going until after Indonesian Independence Day on August 17. That
was a Friday this year. Kids went back to school on Saturday. Then they were
off for a Muslim holiday on the following Monday. Back to school for exactly
one week. Now, they are off for a week and a half again. No wonder they have to
start school so early with so many holidays interrupting the school year.
This means that Rachel is home for ten days straight. I
love having her around. However, I can’t take the same extended holiday that
school kids get to take. I still have to get some work done.
As she is my only child, unless one of her friends comes over
to play, or she goes to her friend’s house, Rachel is kind of at loose ends
when it comes to keeping herself occupied.
I will joyously celebrate the day that she becomes proficient enough at
reading that a book can absorb her interest for part of her day.
But that day is not yet. We had spent much of the morning
sorting through her toys, choosing some to give away, throwing away the toys
that were broken beyond repair, and generally putting things back to rights.
I then sat down at my computer to get some work done. Rachel
moved some of her playthings into my office to be near me. No problem to me as
long as she is quiet. She took a familiar song and put new words to it … a
habit she has picked up from me. At one point, I tuned in to what she was
singing. It went something like this.
As she got to the end of the song, she leaned against me and
looked up with the most adorable smile.
Do you sense a bit of manipulation here? Yeeeeeah. I suppose.
Rachel is good at that.
But was she right? Yeeees. I can work anytime. Well, almost
anytime. I can’t take the full ten days off that she has off, but I didn’t
absolutely have to do what I was doing right then. There was no reason it
couldn’t wait.
It is true that kids need to learn that they are not the
absolute center of the entire universe. They do need to learn to share their
parents’ attention with siblings and with others. However, we can’t expect our kids to be
content with a distracted, “Yes, sweetie, that’s nice,” when that is pretty
much all the response they get on a regular basis.
Time flies by so quickly. My daughter won’t be small forever.
There will come a time when her friends and other activities will exert a much stronger
pull on her than they do now. If I don’t take the time to just be with her when
she is young, I’ll likely find that she won’t take the time to be with me when
she is older.
After all, when our kids are grown, they won’t care how many
blog posts we wrote … or read. They won’t recall fondly all those Sunday School lessons or
Bible studies we prepared. They may or may not remember positively all those
hours we spent ministering to others in the course of a typical week.
All those loads of laundry we do, dirty dishes we wash, or
meals we cook won’t mean all that much to them in retrospect, although they
certainly enjoy the benefits and would miss it if those things weren’t done. All
those things are important. Please don’t misunderstand me. All those things
need to be done, but they are not what will fill up our kids’ hearts with the certainty
and security that comes from knowing absolutely that they are loved.
What I am saying is that we need to be sure to regularly push
back from our kitchen stove, our vacuum cleaner, our computer … whatever it is
that takes major portions of our focus and energy … and be all there for our
kids.
When our kids are grown, the kinds of memories they treasure
will not be the memory of Mom running the vacuum cleaner over the living room
carpet. They will remember Mom sitting down on that less-than-spotless carpet
to play Candy Land with them. The memory of Mom weeding the flower bed won’t warm
their hearts, but the fifteen minutes she spent playing tag in the back yard
will.
I am writing to myself as much as to anyone else. Let’s hear
the cry of our children’s hearts.
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